turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
