Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
