Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
