What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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