I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
