You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
