he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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