best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
