i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The beer is more important than you right now.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
