can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
