Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
