new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
