Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
