The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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