Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize