No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
