So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
