you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
