I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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