Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
