no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize