You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
