If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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