yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
