it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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