Pappa wants mamma naked
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
