He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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