you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
