Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
