i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Four minutes until I can fart!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
