Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have already put on my inside pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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