would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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