so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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