he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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