she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize