you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
