Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
