Swine flu. Run for my life!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk is a universal language darling
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
