apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
