Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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