You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize