I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
