It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Of course I have a pirate flag
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
