absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize