I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
