I just pynch a tree in the face
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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