Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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