you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
