you inspire me to be a worse person
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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