Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
