Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
