did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
