i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
