We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
