I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
