what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize