She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
