A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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