take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
