Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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