After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
