Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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