So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
