i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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